Re-evaluating My Love

During the past few days, through such emotional turmoil I had a chance of figuring things out in matters of my feelings for Ervin. Yesterday I found out that the guy he slept with was the same guy he was kissing on his cam the night of his birthday. During that time I have never thought much about it because Ervin reassured me that those were his friends. It was later on I discovered that they had just met that same night. Flash forward 2 1/2 months later and they ended up sleeping together. Yes, we were separated when it happened, but the fact is, I couldn't help but think it started when we were still together. What hurts me the most is that during this whole time, Ervin questioned his love for me and pushed me away. To the point where I got cornered and felt like I had no other options left but to break it off. Ervin did not leave me with a choice... he pulled further and further away while he was getting closer and closer to that guy he met on his birthday. The decisions and actions he's taken are borderline manipulative.

Yes, me and Ervin had our share of problems to overcome... but Ervin invited that temptation in instead of trying to work whatever problems we could work out at that time. Ervin actually seeked him out, even going as far as traveling to San Jose.

I love Ervin. I still do love him. I forgave him for everything, looked past through all his flaws.

At a time where everyone is so independent, and divorces are as easy as deciding what to wear the next day, it is very easy to just give up on a relationship. My love for Ervin is greater than what today's society is capable of understanding. And now...

There's a huge "but" thats thrown in there. And although I am trying really hard to hold on, I can't help but feel that I should just let go. Is this really "love"? Or am I so blinded by love that I'm willing to overlook what had happened.

I am one who believes love can forgive anything... I'm beginning to wonder if there should be exceptions to that rule.