I have this fear of letting go of Ervin. Not because I'm dependent on him but because I know myself enough to know that once I let go of someone there's no turning back. I guess that's why I'm dragging this down to its knuckles. I don't want to let go unless I'm absolutely and positively sure that I have tried everything I could to make this work. Time is my enemy.
The more time I waste, the more time that passes without any resolution or road this thing Ervin and I have going, my feelings for Ervin grow thin. And it's really getting harder and harder each day as new people enter in my life.
Ervin always tells me not to be afraid of taking opportunities. I believe every opportunity comes with sacrifice. And my feelings for Ervin are much too high a value to just give up for something that may or may not work out. As for working on myself as a person, I believe I can do that with or without someone. After all we are individuals in and out of a relationship.
"But I fear, I have nothing to give. And I have so much to lose here in this lonely place. Tangled up in our embrace. There's nothing I'd like better than to fall." - Sarah McLachlan
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