Jokes on Me

Last night I had the misfortune of having one of the most chat misunderstandings I have ever experienced. As I was innocently chatting and joking around with Ervin, I said something that offended him. Though unintentional, I apologized for what I said. Although some jokes are half meant, last night's joke was not intended to offend Ervin, nor was it meant in a negative way. I have called him that word before when I was really angry and honestly thought he deserved it at that time because his actions in the past was borderline definition of the word. But last night, I honestly meant nothing by what I said. It was a rough unintentional segue gone wrong.

I couldn't sleep a wink last night from all the guilt, even though it was a misunderstanding, I couldn't help but think that this bad night caused Ervin to slip further away from me. I woke up extra early today to see Ervin at the train station. I wanted to apologize in person. I still love Ervin and wouldnt want to offend him or put a strain on our friendship.

I realized I am the type of person who dwells on guilt and remorse, and I end up apologizing until I know for sure that everything is "okay". Ervin on the other hand... not so much, lol. I just need to adjust and know that when Ervin apologizes, he only says it once and I should trust that he meant it and let it be. We're like 2 sides of the same coin. Which is not a "bad" thing... If we think and act alike... it would be too much. People already think we're brothers, LOL!

So once again, on record and for the last time if you are reading this "I'm sorry Ervin".