I realize it's going to take me some time to get over Ervin. But while I'm in that process I need to accept that there is no future for us left in terms of being romantically involved no matter how much I want it to. I also need to face the fact that Ervin will eventually open his heart to someone else. And as hard as that is for me, I need to accept it.
The thought of someone else replacing me in your Ervin's heart is crippling. It weighs heavy on my heart. And time cannot and will not save me from it. But I will endure it because I love Ervin and I want him to be happy even if it's not with me. But I don't think I can be there for him, watching him love someone else when everytime I look at him, I'm always going to be wishing it was me he was loving.
This is my cross to bear and I will accept it.
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