Space

Things are a little bit easier everyday now that I am taking some time and space for myself. Not necessarily better but easier. Adapting and enjoying being single and not looking back. Hollah! =)

Single Ladies

Give My Love Away

For someone who believes in love so deeply, I find it hard to understand how it can never be enough for some and how it can just be given away when its no longer wanted or needed.

I guess a part of me has become numb from the pain. I focused so much on loving others around me that it ended up hurting me. Now as I meet new people and get to know them, I find it harder and harder to find that sense of love. It has become superficial. It has become selfish. Perhaps Im just finding comfort in the company of others, trying to feel something.

I just feel like all the love that I had in me was taken and given away and Im not sure how to get it back and give it to someone who truly deserves it.

No Promises

I'd rather people not make me any promises than keep promising something and breaking them. With that said, I am letting go of everything I know and leaving everything behind. As good and understanding of a friend I am, I do not deserve to be yanked around especially when it comes to something as meaningful as a promise.

Love Train

People all over the world join in, start a love train. love train. LoL I am loving loopt right now. Whooo I see more and more dots everyday.

Happy Face

This picture brings happy to my face.

Sober

Its been 3 months since me and Ervin broke up. Everyday I have been learning to let go of the anger and the hate I felt towards him. Everyday I miss him but I am learning to let go without letting go of the love I have for him. I know things will be okay for me no matter where this life takes me. I know that my feelings for Ervin will remain constant, no matter how complicated or difficult it is.

During these past 3 months I have learned alot about myself. How much I can tolerate and how much patience I have. I also learned not to take anything lying down and not play the victim to those who hurt me. Yes, what happened was painful, but I cannot change Ervin's feelings for me. I am learning to live with it and moving on one step at a time.

Three months waiting for my feelings to be reciprocated. Three months realizing that its never gonna happem.

With my birthday coming up, it is time to leave the past behind and move on from these shackles I have been chained to. It is time to explore new possibilities and meet new people. It is time to open up my heart again. One step at a time. Leaving behind the hope and comfort of the life I had dreamed of with Ervin is heartbreaking, but I know I must move forward and dream bigger dreams. Maybe I will find my someone at the end of this road.