Sunday, March 15, 2009
Fallin
Im fallin hard and not on love. I am actually thinking about having a friend with benefits. Have I fallen that hard that I cant find myself feeling anything for anyone anymore? The whole idea of finding the "one" has kinda lost its meaning to me. There is no such thing as the "one". From what I learned from my previous relationship is if it works it works and if it doesnt it doesnt. Dont count on any promises of a future thats uncertain. Thats why having friends with benefits are beginning to sound practical to me. I learned that love isnt for everyone. Im beginning to think its not for me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
as your friend, reading this makes me want to cry.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletethis is for someone special.
ReplyDelete"dear fish,
a month and a half ago i found you swimming wounded and alone. you were strong, yet i saw that you needed some help. i jumped in and swam with you. this new current helped you get back into the groove of things as you healed slowly but surely. however, i found you today in the most surprising of states. it makes me extremely sad to see you thrown off course when objects and things interrupt your growth. a part of me wants to swim harder and faster to help you get back to where you were. another part of me wants to get out before i start getting thrown off course, too. but what kind of friend would i be if i did that? i'm willing to swim with you, fish, always. but please, swim with me ... not against me.
love,
mike"
someone special i know wrote this in his blog once before:
ReplyDelete"Tuesday, January 27, 2009
And Mike Said...
So while talking to my fellow fish Mike, he said something that I wasn't able to see in myself. I'm quoting loosely here but it went something like, "It's so sad to see that someone must have hurt you so bad that you started doubting yourself and lowering your ethics or value, that you would even think of sleeping around and be okay with it."
When he said that I was just shaken. I never really looked at it that way. I guess for awhile I kinda convinced myself that it's okay to do that. I'm still young. I've much to live for. Why not experience the most out of life. I guess, I wanted to be like Ervin. How he takes on life, care free, without responsibilities or obligations. Then I realized, I don't need to lower my ethics just to experience and/or learn in life. Sure it might be fun in the beginning but I'd be losing so much more. Mistakes aren't the only way we learn in life.
So thank you Mike, for helping me see what I couldn't see."
Like I said, love is not for everyone.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, the question you need to ask yourself is what is my worth? The term "the one" is too vague where it under values the efforts people put in for sticking through the hard times. Just like what you have done in your past relationships and for most of your life. Look inside your own heart to see what LOVE means for YOURSELF. Once you know the answer, try standing up again. And when you are ready to stand up again, remember that there are always people around you that will always be there to help. Who truly know how valuable you are as a person and not just there for the ride.
ReplyDelete