Busy

Sorry I havent blogged much. I will put up new pictures I promise. I just need some time. Be back up soon folks.

X Says:

While chatting with the ex, he said something profound. I KNOW RIGHT! LMAO

"Forgiveness is a permanent contract that means- whatever u did, it's all thrown out of my head- its gone- lets live now and learn from it- although that's not how i saw it before. and if i brought it up and used it against u, and i forgave u- well shame on me."

Thanks. And since you mean so much to me I'll leave this quote anonymous, hahaha.

Reasons and Forgiveness

I used to think that loving someone means you can forgive them for just about anything. Ive always thought that with forgiveness comes understanding. I never thought about everything else that comes with it.

I always thought about people in various types of relationships. Like why do people get married? What is the purpose behind it? Or why do people choose not to marry but just commit to a partner? Why are some people in open relationships? And what does love have to do with it?

I'd like to think I've experienced (in terms of relationships) and mature enough to try and understand these things. Take me for example: My relationships I admit are pretty much steady, they last for about 3 years or so then something goes wrong somewhere and it ends up with someone sleeping with someone else. I keep in touch with my ex whos become like a sister to me, LOL. Of course there's always going to be that sadness you feel about them when you see them because even though things are great now, there's always that 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' feeling in your heart. I usually just chalk it up to "I will always care about you' feelings. But my ex is in a much happier place now and Im happy for 'em. I forgave him and I understood his reasons for what he did. No it's not OK but I understand and I can live with it because that chapter of my life has ended.

The current relationship Im in now (if relationship is the right term, lol) is all kinds of complicated. It's been about 4 years now. A year ago was all kinds of crazies if you read my blog last year. 2009 was a year of learning for me. What I want, what I need, and what I can live with. I am currently trying to work things out with 'em. I forgave em already. In order for me to forgive I need to understand why IT happened. I need to find REASON for it. My journey doing that took me to a different course. All these reasons and understandings led me to FORGIVENESS. I guess it twisted my idea about what is OK and what is NOT OK.

What if there is NO REASON behind what they did? No... I have to find reason. I need to... it's helps me understand and forgive.

In my search to finding reason and having the heart to forgive, it opened up new views for me. Is this why people just stay in relationships and not marry? Is this why people have open relationships? They end up loving the person so much, that they understood where they were coming from. Overtime the wrongs that theyve done, not necessarily became right, but just... justifiable. And is that how it becomes... 'OK'?

For me, I am struggling with the OK and NOT OK issue. If what they did became 'OK' then whats stopping me from doing the same thing? I mean I have my reasons just as much as they do? I was able to FORGIVE EM. And if what they did was 'NOT OK'? Where does FORGIVENESS stand?

There are 2 choices that lay before me:

I FORGIVE YOU, ITS OK I UNDERSTAND or I FORGIVE YOU, ITS NOT OK BUT I UNDERSTAND

And how would these affect our road to recovery and trying to work things out? I can be "OK" with what he did and that will change my views about how relationships work or I can be "NOT OK" with what he did and struggle with finding balance between the two of us. We'll see how this one plays out... I think Im due for some time to myself.

B...

I feel broken. Just like how Bella felt in New Moon. I can't be fixed...

Josep... is dat yu?

Haha while at the Americana at Brand, we stumbled on Half Filipino comedian Jo Koy. He is so funny in person, lol.

Thanksgiving Dinner

So we planned a quick Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner with our friends (unfortunately about half of them didnt make it). So it was just the boys and the Honeybaked Ham. This week was so tiring. We had to order the Honeybake, prepare dinner, and set up the christmas tree in 2 days.


Ervin's first Thanksgiving mishap...

He overwatered the stuffing... but pulled up a great solution by letting the moisture evaporate for 5-6 hours, lol.

Thanksgiving Menu

Honeybaked Ham
Chicken Sonoma with White Cheddar Cheez-Its
Mashed Potatoes
Vegetables
BBQ Pulled Pork (provided by Raymond)
Cheesecake (also from Raymond)
Water
and
Wine (I forgot the name)


Dinner hosts

Don and Raymond

Raymond "hammin" it up for the camera

mMm.. mMmm.. good

Nothing makes me more proud than the satisfied look on a guest's face whenever we have them over for dinner. Also a surprise guest... hehehe.


Our special guest

Mark and RnL

O Christmas Tree

So we decided to have a Christmas Tree this year. We opted for the white cashmere tree from Michael's. We also decided we wanted something elegant, and pretty. Not too flashy, too colorful, or overly decorated, but simple and elegant... fit for a King. We bought 2-tone color accent leaves and ornaments, and to add color we bought tiny painted wooden Christmas ornaments. Here's how our tree turned out...


O Christmas Tree

O Tannenbaum